* Extras - TV programs are not something I normally comment on as they are uniformly appalling. The apparent prevalence of cokehead imitators in control of the media pretty much guarantees the zero standard of most programs. However, after reading a encouraging review of 'Extras' in the press I decided to give it a look last night. If this is the best in comedy that the BBC can come up with then I'm all in favour of privatising the organisation, at least we should get a decent price which we can spend on housing the Bulgarian and Romanian gypsies when they arrive.
Is it me or were the set piece gags such as the Harry Potter star after a leg-over,
the Dwarf with tottie, etc a bit obvious oldhat boring. Perhaps I'm missing some post-modern or modern-post joke.

* Anthony Blair appeared at the Labour Party Conference and congratulated himself on his splendid leadership of the country. Apparently it is extremely important to kiss American arse as a failure to do so could result in an estrangement from the USA that could take years to undo. It would then be many years before Britain would be allowed to kiss USA arse again. I was horrified to hear that he intends to continue his work to bring about peace in areas of conflict in the world. I'm beginning to give credit to the rumour that he and the laughable Bush are 'end-times' believers working to bring the end of the world forward.

* Muslim justifies Israel. Yes!, Mr Abu Izzabeen (not Izzagone unfortunately), a Muslim cleric, was interviewed on a radio news program and when asked why ,as he disapproved of Britain so much, he did not relocate to one of the many idyllic Islamic states in the world replied somewhat as follows. God had created the world, he did not give England to the English but to everyone, anybody could live anywhere. This obviously applies to all the Jews living in Palestine, who under Abu's reasoning are perfectly entitled to be there. Previously I always thought the justification for the State of Israel was slightly shaky, mainly on the basis that waiting 1800 years before you decide to go home is taking prevarication to the very edge. I am now convinced of the right of any Jewish person to live where he wants.

* The esteemed English TV channel, Channel 4 has planned a Christmas program which picks up where Dan Brown's the Da Vinci code left off. This program provides more information on the events after Jesus legged it with Mary Magdalene and left the Apostle John to die on the cross in his place. This program tells us about his and Mary's relationship, who did the cooking and ironing, who went looking for work, etc. Plus fascinating information about their offspring. Perhaps now is the time for the Vatican to release the manuscript they have been sitting on for 1900 years,.' the Jesus book of parenting'. The existence of this book has been known of by hundreds of secret societies. Given the desperate need for guidance required by parents in these times it is about time it was released and published.

* A friend pointed out to me the other day that nothing is being done to save gay persons genes. Blind nature has selected gay persons for elimination from the gene pool. A conspiracy exists. , he claims, to ignore the issue. This is just the kind of issue where England can lead the world. It is his intention to raise awareness of this issue and ,at a number of strokes, solve the problem of sperm donations for infertile couples.
Because the law now allows the offspring of sperm donors the right to know who their donor parent is, sperm donations have plummeted. No (heterosexual) male wants to be lying in bed on a Saturday morning with some young tottie he picked up the night before and be besieged by a horde of teenagers shouting 'daddy' while some strumpet half his age wanders around in the background trying to find her underwear.
His solution is to persuade gay men and women to donate eggs and sperm to infertile couples and thus preserve their genetics for the gene pool. I feel every right thinking englishperson who embraces diversity will support him in this endeveour.

* Apparently Muslims in Britain (or some of them) are demanding the right to have sharia law applied in this great land of hours. As the government never hesitates to bend as far forward as it can to appease immigrant communities, they may soon have their way. It is only to apply to Muslims as I understand it. One can only hope this is the case or there would be continous stoning to death of english womanhood. If they do wish sharia law to apply across the board they will only meet with the English 'F*** Off!!', which I fear would only cause bad feelings between the two communities.

* The implementation of sharia law would be a new opportunity for reality television. The following of the case then the stoning to death or amputation of some bodypart opens up new vistas for the media. Lets face it, that's going to blow Judge Judy off the telly.

* Scientists in this great nation of ours have decided its time to re-open the debate with the public to persuade them to accept food stuffs that have been genetically modified. Apparently the public have been refusing to buy GM foods. This totally illogical stance has annoyed the science boys and girls who have repeatedly told the people that there is nothing to worry about as they, the scientists' know what there doing and there is nothing to fret about. People will say they don't like the idea of people messing about with nature as they think someone might just f*** up. I thoroughly endorse the scientists point of view I can think of no occasion on which the assurances of scientists has been incorrect.

*Scientists are disinterested parties purely concerned with the furthering of man's understanding of the universe he finds himself in. The idea of a self-interested unethical scientist is only a slur from luddite bone brains who have no understanding of the rarefied spheres scientists operate in. The acquisition of honours and extremely large grants doesn't come into it.

* Lets face it the human race as is has only been around for 250,000 years and we are close to cacking the whole planet up. This is a major achievement and no other species can hold a candle to us. There is no reason that the British genetic boys and girls shouldn't be allowed their contribution as well. Leaving this task to the Americans alone will only add further humiliation to us after the American Churchill sold us out to yanks during and after the war. " You are the salt of the earth", would have been better put as "You are the yeast of the world", a fast multiplying organism that ends up killing itself in its own waste products.

* Marx was right when he said that capitalism contained the seeds of its own destruction. He was just wrong about what would destroy it i.e. the eventual elimination of all the participants, and if there are any, the non-participants.

* Apparently the outraged citizens of the Greek Island of Zante have commenced a crackdown on the behaviour of the British in this holiday resort. Despite the benefits of tourist expenditure the behaviour of the UK visitors has exceeded all expectation. Apparently the game called "Paris Hilton" has been banned. Drunkness, vomiting in the street, unrinating in the street, copulating in public and beach orgies are to be cracked down upon. I see no reason for this. The Spanish have been able to adapt to this behaviour I see no reason why the Greeks cannot. In addition the the number of reported rapes by British women has caused the local statistics to rocket. It would serve the Greeks right if the Brits were to take their custom elsewhere.

*This weekend has seen protest by Muslims over the Pope's lecture concerning the relationship between violence and religion. Effigies of the Pope were burned putting me in mind of the old celebrations for Guy Fawkes night here in England.

* The Muslim Parliament of Great Britain (whoever they are, I certainly didn't get a vote) mouthed off some predictable complaint. The Primitive Baptist (2nd Convention) Parliament of Great Britain were strangely silent on this issue. The Pagan Parliament of Great Britain said the great huntress goddess would reap a dark harvest of any who opposed the natural religion of Albion.

* The great puzzle of course is why Muslims come to live in England at all. Its not as though there aren't perfectly good Islamic countries in the world. Why would a Muslim come to live in a notoriously secular country ( the English are not naturally religious and an individual would enter a church ,at most, twice in their lives, on their entrance and on their exit). In addition the English has an alcohol based society with little rivalry except perhaps the Russians. Alcohol being available 24 hrs a day. The English allow the same freedom's for both sexes and have admirable abortion, single mother, STD rates far above other western states. The media purveys large quantities of soft porn. One would imagine Muslims would avoid the country like a plague. Not only that but the English have little sympathy with honour killings and other cultural elements despite their much vaunted multiculturalism.

* The media of course critised the Pope. They don't want large crowds of people waving placards, shouting slogans and burning effigies outside their offices. On the principal when you daren't hit the first mate kick the ships cat they prefer to mount a surrogate attack on christians. At least you know they're not likely to do anything more threatening than write a letter of protest which the media can make a great show of ignoring. Most media people do an amazingly good impersonation of a cokehead believing the sun shines from their arse.

* Apparently abortions are still rising despite the over-the-counter availability of the morning after pill. This was heralded as the answer to the ever increasing requirement for abortions. Either this was a false expectation or the number of abortions would be even higher than it is.

* The major achievement here has been the complete separation the sexual act from the process of procreation. The sexual act is regarded as an entertaining diversion which for some aberration of nature can lead to unwanted procreation. It is the main purpose of abortion to clear up this unwanted side-effect. Further research is needed to enable fertilisation and embryo growth to take place in a separate environment. This would over come the problem of geriatric mothers, blocked tubes, stretch marks, painful labour and other messy consequences of pregnancy. Perhaps the large numbers of unemployed females could be utilised to bring embryos to full term. These babies could then be returned to the individual or partners responsible for the child. They can then utilise their maternity leave to aquaint themselves with their off spring before placing their child with a nanny or if money is tight a nursery.

* This logical separation of parts can also be seen in the arts. Where the act of inspiration is seen as quite separate from the rather tedius process of producing an end product. It should not really be necessary for an inspired artist to be diverted from his exalted task by the necessity to prat about with some plastic medium.

* Anthony Blair appeared before the TUC yesterday and was greeted by protest and derision. The beasts know a wounded pack leader when they see one. The scrabble is now on for the top of the greasy pole. It looks like our Anthony's place in history will be the Prime Minister who liked the taste of American arse.
He should have obeyed the rules of war instead of running round the world boosting his own enormous ego. The first rule of war of course is : Do not invade Russia.
The rules he contravened were : Never engage in military adventurism with the Americans, and : Never get involved in Afghanistan unless you have absolutely no other option.
No doubt he thought these rules did not apply to him as many another has so thought to their cost.

* Another of Mr Blair's achievements has been the creation of an examination system which makes it almost impossible to identify the brightest and best. Soon we will be in a situation where everybody is an 'A' grade student. His stated intention of getting 50% of school leavers to university is purely because he knows people in debt don't cause problems. Not that this will apply to any of his or his cronies children.

* A foreign visitor to our ever open to all shores asked me what was meant by 'Multiculturalism' as 'Culture' has a specific meaning in his country and he could find little evidence of it in England. I explained that the term referred to the ever growing Americanisation of England and the few small pockets of English culture that exist in certain backward parts. This Americanisation was gleaned from films and television and therefore had a unique flavour distinguishing it from the genuine article. A better description would be the 'New York - Californian'-isation of England. The depth and variety of this influence being a much needed addition to the traditional stupidity and ignorance of the Anglo-Saxon stock.

* Apparently 46,000 (aprox) citizens of Iraq have died since they were liberated from the murderous hands of Saddam. In addition Baghdad now has 1 hour of electricity a day. Such are the joys of democracy.

* It appears that Anthony Blair (according to a leaked memo) is planning a farewell tour of the UK. One can imagine the ecstatic crowds lining the roads to cheer him and deliver petitions asking him to stay. The great achievements of his premiership will be proclaimed by large advertisements. Amongst these being ; House prices no one can afford; the ever widening wealth gap between the underclasses and the rich; University graduates with ever increasing debts to pay off (bequeathed to them by a worthless generation that received their University education for free); the right to be extradited to the USA to face American justice at the whim of the Americans;
the slow privatisation of the health services; etc,etc.

* On Sunday I purchase the Observer newspaper, this is by far the most amusing of Sunday papers, this week we receive a copy of Observer Woman magazine. What does this tell us about the female readership of the Observer? Well, they are obsessed with their appearance and their house interiors. They like to read about celebrities but not those on the C list. They enjoy titillation in this issue we get Sex Blogs.
One of the writers of this pornography informs us "I let my dog lick me in private places.." with relief we read that she does not 'get off on it'. English women being easily led, especially by all things out of America, could have stampeded to purchase canine friends. Intimate soirees ringing with, 'of course darling mine's a St Bernard'.

* The increasing impression is received when reading/ watching the English media that they are produced entirely by 'cokeheads' and gay lobbyists. Take english comedy this is now dominated by sexual humour e.g. the tremendously amusing circumstance where a tissue soiled by male ejaculate sticks to a woman's hair.
Catch phrases such as 'I'm the only pig buggerer in this village'. Comedians whose short shouted monologues end with 'so I pulled down my pants took out my ..' well I expect you can fill in the rest. How the nation roars.

* It would appear from news reports that the Palestinians have been sent some examples of 'Brit Art' to view at the Bethlehem Peace Centre. In fact due to a lack of insurance cover the 'Art' has been constructed at the centre according to instructions supplied by 'British' artists. This consisted of coloured dots painted within a grid, eggs thrown against a wall, paint dripping down a wall and other sophisticated ideas too subtle to describe in words alone. One wonders what the Palestinians will make of these bold statements. No doubt they will receive reassurance that they do not stand alone in their suffering.

* It also appears that despite appeals to cease the 'Anthony must go' furore a (supposed) Blair loyalist ex-minister Charles Clarke has had a freebie dinner from a reporter and, over the wine, expressed negative opinions about the chancellor Gordan Brown. Mr Clarke, who resembles a garden gnome, pitched in with a spirited suggestion that Mr Brown has psychological problems. We are not informed what these
problems may be although it is widely rumoured that he has a neurotic compulsion to avoid stepping on cracks in the pavement and uncontrollable bouts of grinning. This latter complaint has resulted in much unwarranted criticism.

* The real wonder of Mr Clarke is his ability to keep his trousers up despite an enormous beer belly. One is drawn to the conclusion that they must be stapled to his flesh at the back.

'Comments do not relate to other members of the UK, Scotland, Wales and the loosely affiliated Northern Ireland. Ah England nation of drunks, sluts, debtors and fools.'

* So Tony Blair is promising to (finally) get out of Number 10 Downing Street and within 12 months!. The first good news England has heard for some time. I personally won't believe it till I see his hands being prised off the door frame. Plenty of time to invent a crisis that requires his remaing P.M.,remember we are dealing with someone who has no shame, much like the people he governs.
What worries me more is how they are going to get Ms Booth out of there. This very minute she is probably sacrificing small mammals and reciting new age incantations to bring terrible curses down on the heads of Anthony's opponents within the Labour party.
We, 'the english', can only hope that the USA will offer him a job sufficient unto his enormous ego surely the Americans owe us that much. I do hope its a tearful goodbye I enjoyed Mrs Thatcher's (his poltical mentor) exit so much. Whenever I am depressed I always run the video of her departure and almost immediately the zest for life returns.

* Jack Straw - Straw by name straw by nature. He proves the old axiom you don't need talent to succeed.

* Mention of Mrs Thatcher reminds me of a concern that I and many of my acquaintances have concerning the day she departs this world for warmer climes.
A straw poll conducted amongst us has resulted in a public health issue that should not be ignored. It would seem an extraordinary number of people have promised themselves that they will unrinate on her grave once her body is interred. Nor only is this a health hazard but it would make the visiting of surrounding graves unpleasant for their visitors and ,so I understand, kill any plant life in the vicinity. Perhaps there is an argument for a monument in the form of a public convenience to avoid these unpleasant consequences. In addition there is the problem (assuming our poll is correct) of long queues forming and the possible public order issue that would arrive. Long lines of people stretching miles all with full bladders is too awful to comtemplate.