*Squeaky Wheel. Advice to persons thinking of emigrating to Britain - Part 3
SO, once you've got here and decided on the locality where you intend to live, you will need money and a place to live. How do you I get this? you ask. Well all you need to know is 'Squeaky Wheel' i.e its the squeaky wheel that gets oiled. You will need to approach the council, social security and also obtain details of grants available (remember the U.K. and EU offer grants).
If you have any problem getting a flat/house or money then make a big fuss. Make your fuss loudly and hysterically in your native tongue. Ensure this is interspersed with the following English words; 'racism', 'religious oppression' and occasionally 'imperialism' (to remind the English of the mess they've made of the third world and arouse feelings of guilt).
If they are co-operative then you should become calm. If you are not offered what you want then its 'squeaky wheel time' e.g. you are not given a 5 bedroom house. Remember you can make good money renting rooms to other immigrants frightened of being found.
In order to get a grant you will need to form a group either religious or racial and squeak away. You should demand your own parliament, education and training grants, language courses, it's best to do a bit of research before you go for the big one. Remember no one will have the nerve to check what you are doing with the money. A few posters and leaflets in your native tongue should suffice.