* Channel 4 program on Toulouse-Lautrec.
Channel 4 widely advertised its program about Toulouse-Lautrec. Comments such as the Rubens of his day, etc, aroused my interest so I tuned in last Saturday. So what did we learn about his artistic output and development, well f*ck all actually. He did some horses, he did some posters. As it was a documentary choosen by the gerbil lovers and cokehead impersonators at channel 4, the program was more concerned with the naughty goings-on of Toulouse-Lautrec himself. What did we learn?
His father was mad as a hatter, his mother doted on him, he was inbred, he knew a man who painted horses, he studied in Paris in sex crazy Montmartre, he had a large penis, he hung out with prostitutes, he got pissed alot with his mates, he had a number of models/prostitutes which he painted/copulated-with alot, he went to the circus, he went to the fair, he went to the moulin rouge, he lived in a brothel, he became a hopeless alcoholic, he died young.
This documentary was presented by a great lunk with a dead rat on his head. It was hard to determine whether the documentary was about Toulouse-Lautrec or 'what the great lunk did on his Paris holidays'. The documentary featured him to such an extent that one part showed him seeing how quickly he could walk past all the locations associated with Toulouse-Lautrec's life in Paris. He told us that Toulouse-Lautrec's posters became so popular that people took them from the walls. The great lunk then showed us how this might have looked by taking a poster off a wall.
We also learnt how polite frenchmen can be when being asked dumb questions by a great lunk.
At the end of the documentary we learnt that T-L had a sh*t on a french beach. To prove his point he showed us a photograph, 'T-L with cr*p deposited on beach', then a photograph, 'T-L pulling up his pants on beach'. The great lunk thought this a grand gesture. He didn't ask the obvious question, 'what the f*ck did the photographer think he was doing photographing a man with tertiary siphilis having a sh*t on a beach?'
The great lunk visited T-L's grave in a convent graveyard. The great lunk thought the nuns buried with him would be outraged, if they weren't all dead. This shows that the great lunk knows f*ck all about nuns and f*ck all about Catholocism.
He then threw his hat on T-L's grave and wandered off.
Culture channel 4 style.