* A much publicised Unicef report shows that Britain beat 20 other top economy countries in the 'worst country to be young in' competition, beating the USA into second place. Eat your heart out young America, we're top of the crap heap now.
What were the results you're probably wondering (after two terms of new thatcherite labour) I can reveal the positions as follows :
1. UNITED KINGDOM - the biggest dung heap !!!
2. United States
3. Hungary
4. Austria
5. Portugal
6. France
7. Czech Republic
8. Poland
9. Greece
10. Canada
11. Germany
12. Belgium
13. Republic of Ireland
14. Italy
15. Norway
16. Switzerland
17. Spain
18. Finland
19. Denmark
20. Sweden
21. Netherlands - in the place of shame, a land full of happy youngsters.

UK Highlights include
* Top by miles in 'Risk behaviours' which includes Smoking, Drunkenness, Spliffs, Fighting, Bullying, Shagging.
* UK child poverty has doubled since 1979 (all credit to mrs Thatcher)
* Most children living in homes earning less than half national average wage
* Most children who admit being drunk on two or more occasions
* Least "kind and helpful" peers (backing the english adage "you can rely on friends they'll always let you down.")
On this last point some vicar did raise the point that when asked the question,'Do you find your peers kind and helpful?' The majority of youngsters wouldn't have a clue whats 'peers' were. Now you might think that they would respond with 'What the f*ck are peers?', but this is england and they will have already learnt 'if in doubt say No' and automatically replied, 'No way'.

I think that this affirmation of today's britain a fitting legacy for bollocks Blair when he leaves office, along with an (recently announced) average house price of £200,000, which the average punter has no chance of buying.
This only goes to show what you can achieve with a bunch of sad politically correct baby-boomers in charge. Lets face it the rich have got richer, the poor have got poorer and the country is full of immigrants who actually want to live here! It's a winning formula for a winning team SS Great Britain.