* Jack straw the ugly pointless apologist for new labour was claiming that voters were less grumpy this year. What does that mean? Jack is trying to talk up labours chances in the coming round of local elections suggesting voters are saying they will not vote labour when they actually intend to owing to the astounding success this government has had in making the rich richer and the poor poorer. Unfortunately for all of us who think jack should crawl into a hole and shed his skin, he is running Gorden Broons leadership campaign which means unless a wonderful surprise happens that he will still be in the cabinet. After hissing his talk up jack then hissed his comments about the fact that multiculturalism has produced isolated communities and how more needs to be done to make everyone feel british, I assume this is in response to the fact that people no longer describe themselves as british but as welsh, english, scots, etc. Lets hope this pointless prat has his local council turn BNP that would amuse me no end.

* Overwhelming lassitude still sums up my day. My partner tries the stop moping around and pull yourself together form of therapy unfortunately it fails to work and a complete lack of interest makes me foolishly say 'yeah, yeah, yeah'. This causes me to be subject to an alternative form of therapy carried out with increased decibels. I decide to lie down on the bed the light thru the window is far too bright so I close the curtains and gaze at the ceiling. This passes most of the day but I am unable to sleep.
The news on the BBC fails to engage my attention even Tony bollocks blair admitting to making a mistake over failing families just about registers. The gist pinched from the BBC is :
He said measures should be added to the ASB laws that would target "failing" families early even before offences had been committed or they had "become a menace". "Instead of years with social services trying and failing to persuade them to change, those families need to be made to change," "It is very tough. It is intrusive but, for some of these families and their children, a nanny state is what they need - for their sake as much as for ours."
Nothing appeared to explain how they identify these families before they commit unspecified offences or just how you go about making them change.
As Blair is about to go its hard to understand what this is about apart from an attack on cameron the tory toff for being about to make the same mistake. However I can hardly give a damn and intend to go and lie down on the frontroom floor.

* Some alcohol monitoring group were demanding a law to make it illegal to give under fifteens alcoholic drinks or some such thing, sure enough out came the old chestnut about the frogs giving their kids drinks and how they grow up to drink sensibly, as though plying drinks to english kids would do the same. Then the BBC dragged on some middleclass mum to tell us she gives her kids drinks and how they won't grow up to be binge drinkers cue middleclass kid saying how they won't binge drink when they grow up (eat those words later you dumb prat).
Why the BBC indulges in these general to contrary particular as if it proves anything is a complete mystery unless everyone is so dumb they are impressed by such ludicrous antics, come to think of it they probably are.
What is more perplexing is the governments refusal to admit their may be a problem with their drug of choice. The spokesperson put up did a pathetic attempt to deny the figures look bad or had got worse since 'New Labour gives you cheap booze' have been in power. I can only assume their stock portfolios are stuffed with shares in suppliers and purveyors of alcohol. Presumeably everyone's happy as can be sat behind their curtains stuffing cheap booze down their throats. The other possibility is that if booze went up in price the government would loose much needed taxes from trips to frogland to fill up white vans and four by fours with cheap frog plonk.

* Went back to Dr to complain about complete lack of interest in life. Dr says that the virus infection can cause that sort of response should be dancing, singing and cracking jokes soon. Listened to news on BBC Humphalot was giving the anglicans a roasting for giving a paedophile the boot instead of calling the police. Humphalot without prompting decided the defense that paedophiles weren't the hate object of the day at the end of the eighties wasn't valid, despite the fact that no one mentioned it, as everyone was redhot to target paedophiles at the end of the eighties. These sexual deviants are the only ones left we can pillory now that consenting adults can do whatever they want. I suppose necrophiliacs would get some stick if any were caught.
It seems a bit obvious but where there are children paedophiles will attempt to get near them and wouldn't think twice about getting ordained if it got them near their target. Their very like junkies lying sneaky bastards you can't believe a word they say. Once a male has got a fantasy in his head that gets him aroused there is little you can do to shift it.
What was most alarming was the choir master concerned only got two and a half years he'll be out in no time looking for targets, seems a small penalty for ruining someones childhood.

* Still laid out by complete apathy. While I was in bed I read one of my partners books, 'The Waves' by Virginia Woolf, I must recommend this if you haven't read it, its a novel long prose poem which is incredibly evocative. It consists of a number of monologues by 6 friends over the various phases of life. This might not sound very exciting but the poetry of the discourses lasts the whole of the book. For some reason it put me in mind of T S Elliot but that was a minor thing. Do yourself a favour and read it.
I'm also reading 'La Morte d' Aurthur' by Malory, this is a completely different kettle of fish, I'm about a third of the way thru and completely perplexed. First you get the sword from the stone story then a battle with an alarming number of Kings, then a series of stories about various Knights that seem to have no rime or reason to them. In the early part a battle is described this is not so much a battle as a saga of horse swapping. Knight A knocks Knight B of his horse, knight C sees Knight B fighting on foot and knocks Knight D off his horse, Knight C gives Knight B the horse belonging to Knight D, Knight E sees Knight D fighting on foot and so on and so forth for the whole of the battle description.
The stories about individual Knights seem to have no point unless its to discover that the Knight seemingly a peasant by birth is infact of noble birth, otherwise its a series of jousts, dwarfs, damsels and Knights sitting in tent pavilions waiting for someone to come along and fight them. All defeated Knights not killed get sent to King Arthur to become Knights of the round table. In one episode we get a black Knight (killed) a Red Knight defeated, a Green Knight defeated, a Blue Knight defeated, then another Red Knight defeated then the protagonist winning fair lady but kept from a bit of pre-marital sex by the fair Ladies sister by the interference of a Knight who is continually resurrected from the dead. Anyone who knows what's going on please enlighten me.

* This is interesting (for me anyway) I have been overcome with a complete lack of interest in anything. I am putting it down to the antibiotics and steroids the Dr dished out to me. I can hardly be bothered to type this but I thought if I don't try and get back into it I'll never do it. I now know what the sin of ennui feels like.
I noted with hardly any interest the british media getting excited by the latest educationally relate massacre in the USA. Yet again they feel that if some brit tells the yanks they need gun control they will all say 'hey we never thought of that' and then appear perplexed when they don't. The fact that owning a gun is one of the pillars of the american state does not seem to cross their stupid minds. Not one yank interviewed thought no guns was a good idea and all supported the right to bear arms. Why they thought the yanks might care what brits think was even more perplexing.

* Some statistic came out that 20,000 women per year have late abortions because they don't know they are pregnant. Yeah right. This was accepted as perfectly reasonable by the media. Much of it was attributed to the failure of their method of contraception, how unlucky it should fail during the fertile period, and their continuing to have periods. This figure was used to raise concern that the number of doctors who will perform late abortions is falling. I suspect it has more to do with the failure of their 'Hey I'm pregnant' strategy on their partners and put it in the same category with 'lets get married' strategy of people who have lived together for some time (see below). Otherwise, some one should really look into contraception as it seems to fail at an alarming rate given the number of abortions.

* Have had dire chest infection with temp' etc, feel like s*** will blog again soon.

* “Brits are set to spend a massive £520 million on Easter eggs this year — but many young people don’t even know what Easter’s all about,” said the press release from Somerfield after a survey. It then went on to claim that the tradition of giving Easter eggs was to celebrate the “birth” of Christ. An amended version changed this to the “rebirth” of Christ. Finally a third press release accepted Church teaching that Easter celebrated the resurrection of Christ.
Oh my God !?

* I couldn't be bothered washing pebbles yesterday so I bought a copy of the guardian newspaper which always gives me a good laugh and I wasn't wrong. Sure enough Polly Toynbee was in there, you can't claim polly has more than one drum. She was protesting about any attempt to suggest women should rear their own young. Polly claims there are more differences between different human personalities than between men and women. Well I don't know how big a difference between giving birth to children and merely donating dna is but as I understand it bringing forth ones young in travail is a big difference. Women who have given birth naturally tell me its quite a stressful experience or bloody painful. There's always the possibility that other instincts might exist for after this event, as I understand it new born babies do not survive well without some further attention.
After having a good laugh at Polly's liberal credentials I read a comment by some guy whose name I have forgotten on T S Eliot's poem East Coker. He quotes the lines, ' In my beginning is my end / in my end is my beginning' and accuses Eliot of oriental obscurantism. Perhaps he didn't want to blemish his liberal credentials by knowing anything about Christianity but I would have thought as Eliot was a high anglican that this might relate to being born of the flesh and death and being born of the spirit and beginning in eternity in the presence or absence of God, or something along those lines. There were more laughs in the paper and I found the malaise of my hangover fading as I read on.

Ho Hum I think I'll go down the pub.

* ooooh bad head day. I don't think I'll be doing much today my head hurts, I guess I'll have to resort to my back up plan for today which is to dig up some pebbles from the front garden of the flat. I will then wash them and mail them to various seaside resorts apologising for removing them. I also intend to write a letter accusing the muppets who live over the road of hoarding a large collection of pebbles taken from protected beaches. This should occupy me until the pain has gone. I looked at the news and it was too depressing to contemplate.
Happy Easter.

* I was listening to the bbc news and realised nothing I had heard had annoyed me (actually most of it annoyed me but not enough to be bothered thinking about it) so I was wondering what to blog when on the BBC website I found the following bit of idiocy which needs no comment :
Best-selling novelist Ian McEwan is to send back a handful of pebbles he admitted taking from a protected beach. The area is designated a site of special scientific interest and anyone caught removing pebbles could be fined. Mr McEwan had told BBC Radio 4's Start The Week programme that he took two handfuls of pebbles from the beach. In a statement, Mr McEwan said: "'I was not aware of having committed a crime, having not seen any signs on Chesil Beach. Mr McEwan is unable to return the stones in person due to other commitments but agreed to pass the shingle to the crew who are due to film on the beach, near Abbotsbury, on Thursday. A spokeswoman for Weymouth and Portland Borough Council said: "We are most grateful to Mr McEwan for returning the pebbles. "By doing so he highlights the responsibility we all have as individuals to protect our natural environment and heritage."
Oh my God.

* In addition, I discovered that despite having an admirable old Etonian as head of the party, the tories are making no headway in the polls in the north of england. Why this is I have little idea, who can fathom the thought processes of a northener. I suspect, however, that it has something to do with the fact that the last time the tories were in power, due to their idiotic monetary policies, they shut down all manafacturing and other businesses in the north and spent not a bean on this part of the realm.
Such petty grudge bearing is typical of people living amongst the post-thatcherite industrial blight in the north. I expect coach loads of full bladders to trek across the country to add their flowing tribute on thatchers grave.

* The BBC reprised its two ten year olds texting spat and announced they had received mail on the subject. It did not give the split which usually means most people thought it was idiotic. They then had some old fart rambling on about being caught scrumping plumbs and the local bobby, who knew everybody, took him home for a good smack from his father. Then to my amazement he then related how his wife, a school teacher, had within her class a child who bit people, she bit the child as punishment and was warmly commended by its mother. Ah the good old days!?
After this revelation came an email pronouncing the message 'You are a gay boy.' to be homophobic. This being the case it seems to me that both boys should receive a good smack from dad or be bitten by their mothers. The child who sent it as a series of insults and the child who received it and thought it was an insult. This is just as homophobic as the sending.
If someone texted me and said 'Saxby your as gay as the day is long', I would merely assume the texter had been misinformed and it would never occur to me it was an insult. I told my gay friend that the boy should be taken to a gay club so he could see how perfectly normal it all is, stylishly dressed men drinking together. My friend did not think that was a good idea (to say the least) and suggested that a visit to a gay couple in a long term relationship would be better. I reluctantly agreed, all such homophobic children should be taken round to see Elton John and partner to have the error of their ways explained to them. Just the threat of being taken to see Elton should be enough.

* Thanking the Americans. I never thought I would be thanking the Americans for anything but during the Falklands war the UK received military ordnance from the yanks. Not all Reagan's administration agreed or infact knew about it including Ronnie himself. Caspar Weinberg (or however his name is spelt) did the deed. As a result the Argentinian fascist junta folded which was good news all round, except probably for the Americans who liked that sort of regime in south America. Hooray for the colonies oops I mean land of the brave and free.

* According to a recent survey one in ten UK citizens attend church once a week. The breakdown of these figures shows 14% are in England but only 12% are in wales, 45% in northern Ireland and 18% in scotland. This is a disgrace for the English who appear to be more religious than the Welsh. I comfort myself with the thought that a good many of the english will have been lying and amusing themselves by claiming to go once a week when what they mean is they pass a church once a week.
I don't know how an englishman or englishwoman is going to be able to hold up their head in the presence of the welsh.

* The thought police have been out according to the bbc. Two ten year old boys having fallen out were texting each other with insults. One of the boys called the other 'a gay boy'. The father of the receiver of this message informed the police. Round came the thought police to the texter's home to threaten him with an ASBO if he didn't stop using politically incorrect epithets. That should put the little bugger in his place. Well done the police for wasting every bodies time by telling some ten year old not to use gay boy as an insult. I assume the use of the term 'gay boy' is O.K. if used as a statement of fact or as a compliment, of course context is everything so I guess the PC idiots need to be especially alert. I was wondering how sodomite might be interpreted I will be texting it about to find out.
By the way I find that my 'I can't say it, but I'm thinking it' T shirt offends just about everybody particularly women for some reason.

* Successful mission completed and here we all are as happy as can be. The journey was a complete pain on the inadequate motorways. It is brought home to anyone unfortunate to attempt a journey of any distance that everything in britain is distributed by articulated lorry. The government talks about charging car drivers to use the roads, it could all be solved at a stroke if all the freight was distributed by some other means e.g. rail and picked up a central points. The government of course isn't going to take on the lorry drivers after the petrol price fiasco.

* Sorry about that but driving is no pleasure. Our friend willingly returned with us so I guess mine and my partners souls are still o.k. I didn't get the chance to raise the subject again as my partner was deep in conversation surveying the current state of the lives of mutual friends and acquaintances in some detail I might add. I brought up my interest in people living together getting married and our friend agreed with me she said the recurring phrase is 'after we married things changed' as our friend says, the only difference is a piece of paper from the registry not known for it's magical properties, its the grasp at a floating plank before it all goes under. Still its a good move if you do think its going drainwards as it puts the splitting up on an more equitable level, I don't want to appear cynical but this also could be part of the consideration.
I also popped round to see uncle Dave, he was spraying water mist on his herbal garden. I mentioned that everytime medicinal herbs get mentioned by the media everyone gets very heated about skunk. They say its 10 to 30 times stronger than the herbs you were using back in the sixties. Uncle Dave just turned and said, 'I wish it was.' So there you go still a disputed area. If old bent brains isn't impressed then it isn't true.

* Picture blog has been updated.